September 2020

By Hewlett Packin It’s 4PM on a Monday afternoon and you just woke up from your second depression nap of the day, coming fresh out of a nightmare of Daniel Diermeier watching you spit into a bottomless plastic tube. After adjusting back into the warm, comforting smell of piss in...

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  • September 30, 2020

By Miles Borowsky and Justine Del Monte In 2019, Vanderbilt shocked students and faculty with the announcement of a plan to abolish Carmichael Towers. This was met with immediate support by many who believed that the social climate had progressed past the need for such an institution.  One of the...

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  • September 30, 2020

By John Dough The way you wear those pant suits. Your fresh, fashionable haircut. The way you command congress floor like a well-spoken, sexy diablo from the 8th district of California—God, how I wish I was the 8th district of California so you could rule benevolently over me and pass...

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  • September 23, 2020