The Vanderbilt Men’s Basketball season came to an unanticipated close last week after a sudden decision by the Office of Greek Life. In a confusing mix-up with Vanderbilt athletics, OGL decided to kick off the SEC because it “sounded like a fraternity we don’t want on campus," according to the benevolent ruler of Greek Life. “This has been a long time coming,” says … [Read more...] about OGL Kicks off SEC After Mistaking It for New Fraternity
Archives for February 2020
Top Ten Secret Campus Clubs
Students who read The Hustler Bad community Students who read The Slant Worse community, but at least willing to pass the juul when needed HOD majors that won’t work for Deloitte Warning: Very selective, full of daddy-issues Vanderbilt Office of Housing and Residential Experience1.9 stars of Google The Free Masons ?????? Morning People Vandy dining halls … [Read more...] about Top Ten Secret Campus Clubs
How to go to a Frat in a God Honoring Way
It's a Friday night, and your friends want to go to a real party. Apparently to them, a BYX party is not a real party. Tired of only being offered La Croixs and Capri Suns, they tell you that there’s a party at Delt. You belligerently agree to go because the Toga Party seems the closest to preaching the lord’s word. However, you are more than ready to tell them, “I told you … [Read more...] about How to go to a Frat in a God Honoring Way
The ABC’s of your Valentine’s date
Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching, and if you are single you’re probably already painfully aware of this fact. While you may have already given up on the prospect of finding a date in time for this cursèd holiday, I am here to bring you hope. As supported by my uninterrupted nineteen-year streak of being single, I am a master of seduction. I will now take you through the … [Read more...] about The ABC’s of your Valentine’s date
If God Didn’t Want Me To Use Plastic, Then Why Did He Invent It?
For the record, I love the environment. In fact, I love the environment so much that I can’t stop dreaming about making sweet, sweet love to Mother Nature and creating a monsoon in her leafy lady bits. Until then, I’m just jizzing on Alumni Lawn, hoping she gets the message. However, what I don’t love is being dehydrated as fuck. I know Cornelius Vanderbilt bends over … [Read more...] about If God Didn’t Want Me To Use Plastic, Then Why Did He Invent It?