• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • News
  • Features
    • Bitchin’ Kitchen
    • Bout Balls
    • Horoscopes
    • Quiz Qorner
    • Slant Review
    • Slant Rhyme
    • Top 10
  • Life
  • Opinion
  • Rickroll
  • Slant TV
  • Staff
  • About Us
  • Be a Contributor

The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for January 2020

Oops, I spent all your Dance Marathon donations on Premium snapchats

January 29, 2020 by Kyle Kowalski

I’m guilty. I spammed your instagram feed with countless posts about Dance Marathon. I had special prizes for every milestone reached. Raise $100? I’ll rub barbecue sauce all over my bare chest in front of a tour group (let them know what Commons food tastes like). Raise $200? I’ll ask out the Commons Cashier, although I’ll probably do this regardless. And if we raise $400, … [Read more...] about Oops, I spent all your Dance Marathon donations on Premium snapchats

Vanderbilt Study Suggests You’re, “Not Like Other Girls”

January 16, 2020 by Slant Staff

By Anonymous Recent research by faculty and graduate students from the Vanderbilt Anthropology department indicates that your incredible fashion, taste in music, and your authentic personality set you apart from all of those other girls. After sampling hundreds from the female population at Vanderbilt, the study, which aimed to expose your originality and uniqueness, … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Study Suggests You’re, “Not Like Other Girls”

Commentary: Where is this White Van Taking Me?

January 14, 2020 by Keeley Parker

It’s really in moments like this that I remember how lucky I am to be a woman. Being a woman can be quite frightening at times, but I often think that opinions like that really just attack men. You agree, right? I find that the wonders of womanhood grant me quite a few opportunities that poor, oppressed men just don’t get. For instance, just this evening, I was invited to go … [Read more...] about Commentary: Where is this White Van Taking Me?

All I’m Saying Is If There Were No Women, There Would Be No Gender Inequality

January 14, 2020 by Jana Li

    When Christopher Columbus came to America, he brought over atrocities such as tomatoes, smallpox, and women who would eventually demand gender equality. Since then, the feminist movement has seen women every decade or so demanding absurdities like suffrage or the ability to control her own body. In fact, to this day, society still faces the same nagging women … [Read more...] about All I’m Saying Is If There Were No Women, There Would Be No Gender Inequality

I’m Taking an Amish Buggy to the Land of My Dreams

January 14, 2020 by Estelle Shaya

As I sat contemplating the meaning of life and the ten-page paper on existentialism I still had to write for the next day, I thought back to simpler times. Better times, back in rural Ohio. I remembered the childish dreams I’d once had. At the time they were simple, perhaps idealistic, but they certainly never considered having to pay $70,000 for four years to lose part of … [Read more...] about I’m Taking an Amish Buggy to the Land of My Dreams

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • Op-Ed: We Don’t Need More Thanksgiving Music. We Already Have the Perfect Thanksgiving Anthem
  • Op Ed: Let’s Collectively Agree to Reset our Virginities Every Month
  • Nine Festive Fall Ways to Make Ben Shapiro’s Life In Nashville a Living Hell
  • Canada Goose is Back: The Slant’s Guide to Handling the Swarm
  • What To Leave In Your Dorm Room For The Flip

vanderbiltslant

No one supports feminism more than the SEC. By B No one supports feminism more than the SEC. 

By Ben Donohoe
Happy Holidays! Xoxo, Wente ❤️ @vanderbiltu Happy Holidays! Xoxo, Wente ❤️

@vanderbiltu
Trust me, it’s like, a super practical major. B Trust me, it’s like, a super practical major.

By Joshua Allen
Happy Thanksgiving from the Slant, to all of you h Happy Thanksgiving from the Slant, to all of you hiding in a bedroom in a desperate attempt to avoid your family!

By Alex Mills
Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes? Rings a bell. Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes? Rings a bell. 

By Shivani Sharma
Sometimes Vandy doesn’t give us what we want, th Sometimes Vandy doesn’t give us what we want, they give us what we need. 

By Taylor Lomax
Graphic by Sam Sliman
Honestly? We aren't NOT into it ever since that Na Honestly? We aren't NOT into it ever since that Narnia movie came out... 

By Julia Schmitt
The Slant ❤️s a good info graphic! Thanks @van The Slant ❤️s a good info graphic! Thanks @vanderbiltstudentgov

Graphic by Sam Sliman
We know you missed us, but we are back and our con We know you missed us, but we are back and our content is as average as ever! 

By Madison Hitchcock
Inspired by recent events By Ben Donohoe Inspired by recent events 

By Ben Donohoe
It’s still too close to call. By Madison Hitch It’s still too close to call. 

By Madison Hitchcock
Follow on Instagram
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. New posts will not be retrieved.

Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details.

Archives

  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
January 2020
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  
« Nov   Feb »

Follow Us

Facebook Twitter YouTube

Footer

  • Archive
  • Privacy
  • Be a Contributor
  • About Us
  • Contact Us

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2021 · Magazine Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in