I’m guilty. I spammed your instagram feed with countless posts about Dance Marathon. I had special prizes for every milestone reached. Raise $100? I’ll rub barbecue sauce all over my bare chest in front of a tour group (let them know what Commons food tastes like). Raise $200? I’ll ask out the Commons Cashier, although I’ll probably do this regardless. And if we raise $400, … [Read more...] about Oops, I spent all your Dance Marathon donations on Premium snapchats
Archives for January 2020
By Anonymous Recent research by faculty and graduate students from the Vanderbilt Anthropology department indicates that your incredible fashion, taste in music, and your authentic personality set you apart from all of those other girls. After sampling hundreds from the female population at Vanderbilt, the study, which aimed to expose your originality and uniqueness, … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Study Suggests You’re, “Not Like Other Girls”
It’s really in moments like this that I remember how lucky I am to be a woman. Being a woman can be quite frightening at times, but I often think that opinions like that really just attack men. You agree, right? I find that the wonders of womanhood grant me quite a few opportunities that poor, oppressed men just don’t get. For instance, just this evening, I was invited to go … [Read more...] about Commentary: Where is this White Van Taking Me?
When Christopher Columbus came to America, he brought over atrocities such as tomatoes, smallpox, and women who would eventually demand gender equality. Since then, the feminist movement has seen women every decade or so demanding absurdities like suffrage or the ability to control her own body. In fact, to this day, society still faces the same nagging women … [Read more...] about All I’m Saying Is If There Were No Women, There Would Be No Gender Inequality
As I sat contemplating the meaning of life and the ten-page paper on existentialism I still had to write for the next day, I thought back to simpler times. Better times, back in rural Ohio. I remembered the childish dreams I’d once had. At the time they were simple, perhaps idealistic, but they certainly never considered having to pay $70,000 for four years to lose part of … [Read more...] about I’m Taking an Amish Buggy to the Land of My Dreams