By Rachel Haselkorn Thanksgiving season is a wonderful time of year. The weather is nice, everything is great and everyone is happy. And then, you hear it: “I still would like to see Barack Obama’s birth certificate.” Your neo-nazi grandpa, who just won’t seem to die, has returned to irritate everyone and be a public nuisance at yet another family … [Read more...] about Top 5 Ways to Infuriate Your Boomer Relatives at Thanksgiving Dinner
Archives for November 2019
By Amy Rieth The low hum of a scooter engine gets louder and louder, a sound that almost outweighs the sound of your heart beating in your ears. A bead of sweat inches down your neck and your hands start to shake. You slowly turn your head, preparing yourself for a sight you’ve seen a thousand times. Mere inches from your face, you’re confronted with the lifeless, … [Read more...] about Which Makes You A Bigger Asshole: Screaming “On Your Left” While Scootering Past Someone, Or Saying Nothing At All?
By A Student Who Fears Not Getting Good Housing for Publishing This Along with the announcement regarding the new name for Residential College A, Vanderbilt University has announced that future residential colleges will be constructed without functioning HVAC systems. “We’re excited for this change,” said an administrator in the FutureVU office. “We believe that not … [Read more...] about New Residential Colleges to Not Have Full Kitchen, HVAC
By Chris Loveland The Students of SOC-2100 were all dumbfounded by what one student—Chad Baker—said during a heated class discussion today. Baker, typically known for “piggybacking” off of other student’s comments, constantly taking an “economical” approach to every topic, and really bringing absolutely nothing to the table, left class today in hot water. One student … [Read more...] about Uh Oh, That White Guy Just Said, “To Play Devil’s Advocate…” What The Fuck Is He Going To Say Next?
By Zak Stengel The news comes after an unprecedented visit from Baron Trump to the White House to actually see his parents for the first time since Childish Gambino came out with his “This is America” music video. Insiders say that he claimed feeling “unsafe” in school due to tweens using and loading up on gum without any caution. One student apparently offered him a mint … [Read more...] about Trump Administration Places Background Checks on Gum Purchases After 3 Choking Deaths Reported in the Last Twenty Years