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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for October 2019

Homecoming Weekend: Nostalgia and Neglect

October 26, 2019 by Kyle Kowalski: Content Editor

Homecoming weekend finally happened, the spontaneous two day shit-show that every Vanderbilt student looks forward to as the TIME to get laid. Winter jackets, chapped lips (or herpes), and that weird freshman who claims his legs don’t get cold—they’re all in full swing.  Vanderbilt homecoming is a tradition which has run for decades, but my dad has been running from me … [Read more...] about Homecoming Weekend: Nostalgia and Neglect

I Used To Think A Woman Couldn’t Be Chancellor. Then I Saw “Hustlers.”

October 25, 2019 by Taylor Lomax

By now, every gay person with a Twitter account has seen the movie Hustlers. For the uncultured, this is a film about a group of strippers who begin to drug Wall Street higher-ups and run up their credit cards (a thing I also do on occasion. Where’s my movie?). Yet as I left the theater, I was stuck on the obvious question: What does this mean for Vanderbilt? In case it … [Read more...] about I Used To Think A Woman Couldn’t Be Chancellor. Then I Saw “Hustlers.”

University Pleased To Report Sexual Assault Rates Not High Enough For Them To Have To Do Anything About It Yet

October 23, 2019 by Slant Staff

Findings from the Association of American Universities’ Student Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Misconduct were released last week. Vanderbilt University officials were pleased to announce that our rates of sexual violence were pretty much the same as everyone else’s, thank God. “We were really worried that our rates of sexual assault on campus were going to be … [Read more...] about University Pleased To Report Sexual Assault Rates Not High Enough For Them To Have To Do Anything About It Yet

“Get in Me,” Moans Your Favorite Autumnal Sweater

October 16, 2019 by Chris Loveland

Another aimless day of classes has come to a merciful close. You pack your backpack, pop in your AirPods, turn on some of the angelic stylings of Vanderbilt’s own Ben Kessler, and begin the 10 minute trek back to your dorm. These small 10 minute walks are a welcome relief. For these 10 minutes, you don’t have to worry about your mountainous course load or your crippling fear … [Read more...] about “Get in Me,” Moans Your Favorite Autumnal Sweater

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

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