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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for October 2019

Homecoming Weekend: Nostalgia and Neglect

October 26, 2019 by Kyle Kowalski

Homecoming weekend finally happened, the spontaneous two day shit-show that every Vanderbilt student looks forward to as the TIME to get laid. Winter jackets, chapped lips (or herpes), and that weird freshman who claims his legs don’t get cold—they’re all in full swing.  Vanderbilt homecoming is a tradition which has run for decades, but my dad has been running from me … [Read more...] about Homecoming Weekend: Nostalgia and Neglect

I Used To Think A Woman Couldn’t Be Chancellor. Then I Saw “Hustlers.”

October 25, 2019 by Taylor Lomax

By now, every gay person with a Twitter account has seen the movie Hustlers. For the uncultured, this is a film about a group of strippers who begin to drug Wall Street higher-ups and run up their credit cards (a thing I also do on occasion. Where’s my movie?). Yet as I left the theater, I was stuck on the obvious question: What does this mean for Vanderbilt? In case it … [Read more...] about I Used To Think A Woman Couldn’t Be Chancellor. Then I Saw “Hustlers.”

University Pleased To Report Sexual Assault Rates Not High Enough For Them To Have To Do Anything About It Yet

October 23, 2019 by Slant Staff

Findings from the Association of American Universities’ Student Campus Climate Survey on Sexual Assault and Misconduct were released last week. Vanderbilt University officials were pleased to announce that our rates of sexual violence were pretty much the same as everyone else’s, thank God. “We were really worried that our rates of sexual assault on campus were going to be … [Read more...] about University Pleased To Report Sexual Assault Rates Not High Enough For Them To Have To Do Anything About It Yet

“Get in Me,” Moans Your Favorite Autumnal Sweater

October 16, 2019 by Chris Loveland

Another aimless day of classes has come to a merciful close. You pack your backpack, pop in your AirPods, turn on some of the angelic stylings of Vanderbilt’s own Ben Kessler, and begin the 10 minute trek back to your dorm. These small 10 minute walks are a welcome relief. For these 10 minutes, you don’t have to worry about your mountainous course load or your crippling fear … [Read more...] about “Get in Me,” Moans Your Favorite Autumnal Sweater

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Ancestry.com is about to have a field day. By Sam Ancestry.com is about to have a field day.

By Sam Sliman
Now THAT’s what we call a homecoming. By Kyle K Now THAT’s what we call a homecoming.

By Kyle Kowalski
See you in Utah! By Kyle Kowalski See you in Utah!

By Kyle Kowalski
We can’t argue with that logic. By James Blair We can’t argue with that logic. 

By James Blair
Lee Harvey Oswald is shaking. By Madison Hitchcoc Lee Harvey Oswald is shaking.

By Madison Hitchcock
Some call him the Punxsutawney Phil of the South. Some call him the Punxsutawney Phil of the South. 

By Shivani Sharma
You know we’re right By Justine Del Monte You know we’re right 

By Justine Del Monte
Handsome Ron really seems to know what he’s doin Handsome Ron really seems to know what he’s doing.
Still waiting to hear Biden’s plan for the Kappa Still waiting to hear Biden’s plan for the Kappa babies. 

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Where does that saliva come from? Slant’s invest Where does that saliva come from? Slant’s investigative journalists are on the hunt to find out. Send tips to (844) 814-5935.

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