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- Delt – Canada. They’re just too nice
- ZBT – Israel. Obviously because of the Jews
- Sig Nu – America. It’s got such a big military presence
- AEPi – Palestine. Some people say it exists; some people say it doesn’t
- FIJI – Cuba. It sounds fun, but ending up there kind of sucks
- Pike – Scotland. Weird place, but the occasional fun party
- SAE – United Arab Emirates. They’re very rich and party hard, but they might still have slaves
- Sig Chi – North Korea. They won’t let you in, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing
- ATO – Australia. It’s getting too hot and dry – make sure you pull the fire alarm
- Lambda Chi – Puerto Rico. It’s cute to see them try to act like a full fraternity
- Kap Sig – Haiti. They’re still rebuilding
- KA – Confederate States of America. Southerners with a canon
- Phi Psi – Czechoslovakia. Doesn’t exist anymore but no one really noticed
- BYX – Vatican City. Everyone is welcome except the gays
