January 2019

According to anxious watchers, freshman Jane Smith has been typing away on her phone in Sutherland House’s fifth floor common room for six hours and counting. When asked about how long she thought the phone break would last, she replied that she “probably wouldn’t take that long.” “Yeah, all I...

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  • January 15, 2019

First thing’s first, what the hell is gluten? Right now the only knowledge I have is that gluten is basically the source of all evil — it’s “literally the worst“ and “you could literally die from gluten” but I’m just literally confused on what gluten is. Kourtney Kardashian’s diet, consisting...

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  • January 15, 2019