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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for November 16, 2018

My boyfriend didn’t know girls had urethras, so I peed on him during sex as a teaching moment

November 16, 2018 by Slant Staff

It was a Friday night. My boyfriend and I had just finished a bottle of rosé and an especially stimulating episode of Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives, and were feeling snacky (the perfect mixture of hungry and horny). So, naturally, he suggested that he eat me out. “One sec, I gotta pee first,” I said, as he began shimmying his way downstairs. “Ew, I don’t wanna get my … [Read more...] about My boyfriend didn’t know girls had urethras, so I peed on him during sex as a teaching moment

Gobble, Gobble, Goebels: Thanksgiving with my Neo-Nazi Relatives

November 16, 2018 by Sander Fess

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and if you’re white and from the South like me, that means two things: sweet potatoes and skinheads. Mmhhmmm. Let’s get cookin!!! To be perfectly honest, I love the South: There’s nothing better than good ol’ Southern cooking. Biscuits, stuffing... with a spread this good, you can hardly notice the two eye-holes cut in your uncle’s … [Read more...] about Gobble, Gobble, Goebels: Thanksgiving with my Neo-Nazi Relatives

10 Facts About Vanderbilt that the Tour Guides Don’t Want You to Know

November 16, 2018 by Andrew Gerber

1. There’s a guy inside of Mr. C. It’s true! Inside our beloved mascot is just a dude who controls the body.  Presumably he’s a student or someone else affiliated with Vandy. Maybe he’s just some random guy. Who knows?  2. We don’t actually have that many squirrels; it’s just three or four of them that are really fast. I thought we had hundreds, but it’s all a facade. … [Read more...] about 10 Facts About Vanderbilt that the Tour Guides Don’t Want You to Know

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
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You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

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Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

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Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
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Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

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