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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

Humor and Satire

Archives for March 2018

Five St. Fratty’s Day Outfits That Scream “Take Me to Formal”

March 16, 2018 by Katie Means

Whether you’re Irish or not, these St. Fratty’s Day outfits are the best way to say “Please take me to formal” without you having to write it on your forehead. May the odds be ever in your favor! The Preppy Green Minnie MouseThis outfit does all of the work for you - the preppy mini-skirt tells the world “I went to Catholic School, I’m a good girl,” while the … [Read more...] about Five St. Fratty’s Day Outfits That Scream “Take Me to Formal”

How My Global Brigades Trip Made Me a Good Person

March 14, 2018 by Tess Batchelder

Over spring break, I went on a service trip to the Dominican Republic with Global Brigades that changed my life forever. When we arrived in the Dominican Republic, I was immediately astounded with how gross everything was. There were dogs everywhere scratching themselves, and everyone was wearing dirty clothes. It was so sad. Our hotel was also in really bad condition. The wifi … [Read more...] about How My Global Brigades Trip Made Me a Good Person

Celery Sticks and Being a Loser: Why New Year’s Resolutions are the Worst

March 14, 2018 by Jacob Feldstein

I'm no life coach. In fact, I have no qualifications at all to tell you how to live your life. I mean, I'm not an idiot or anything, I'm just not a role model. But put my legitimacy aside for a second and hear my advice: don’t eat celery for breakfast. I know what you're saying: "Jacob, I wasn't gonna do that anyways. That’s stupid advice.” I hear what you're saying and first … [Read more...] about Celery Sticks and Being a Loser: Why New Year’s Resolutions are the Worst

Op-Ed: No, I’m not still bitter that I, Tonya wasn’t nominated for Best Picture

March 4, 2018 by Allison Boyce Leave a Comment

The Oscars are coming up in just a few days, and I’m excited.  No, really, I am.  I’m ready to root for Call Me By Your Name for Best Picture with gusto, one of the nine films nominated for the category this year.  It deserves to win, it really does.  Even though I ~initially~ thought when the nominations were released that I, Tonya had been snubbed, and was (understandably!) a … [Read more...] about Op-Ed: No, I’m not still bitter that I, Tonya wasn’t nominated for Best Picture

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