With finals at Vanderbilt in full swing, everyone is dealing with some anxiety and pressure. Sometimes you can wonder whether or not your friends understand that you’re like, really stressed out right now. Here are some tips to prove to everyone else that while they may be stressed, there’s no way they are as stressed as you are.
Change your profile picture to a vaguely awkward but still decently attractive picture of yourself with a caption along the lines of “Smiling through the finals stress,” or “Staring off into the future where I’m done with my four papers, three exams, and five presentations.” Specificity is key here, and don’t be afraid to exaggerate a bit to really hammer the point home. Bonus points if you change your cover photo to a finals-related meme, such as the “this is fine” dog in a fire!
Every time someone walks by you in Rand and asks how you’re doing, instead of just saying the typical response “I’m fine,” make sure to add on a clarifier. Perhaps try “I’m fine… well, as fine as can be expected for having two papers due tomorrow,” or “I’m fine, except for the fact that I only got three hours of sleep last night.” If you’re in a rush, don’t be afraid to simply say “I’m surviving,” or “I’m alive” to really convey that you are as far from “thriving” as possible and there’s no way your friends are as close to death as you!
You know that fun dinner you and your friends planned as your last big hang out before you all leave for winter break? Thirty minutes before you are all supposed to meet up, text the group chat to explain you’re so so sorry, but you don’t think you can make it because you are just too swamped with work right now, and even though you’re so bummed you have to miss the dinner, you have to think of your own mental health right now. Within minutes you’ll be receiving dozens of sympathetic texts praising you for thinking of your own self care, because you know, grades just aren’t that important in the long run!
Snapchat a picture of a cup of coffee sitting beside your laptop with a timestamp after midnight, because nothing says you’re stressing the fuck out right now like late night caffeine. Don’t forget to put a black and white filter over it and include a sticker of your bitmoji saying “literally can’t even” for maximum impact!
There you have it! By using these tips, you can prove to all of your friends that are similarly spiraling into despair that dangnabbit, you are obviously more stressed out than them!