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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for November 2017

Breaking: President Trump Releases Special Report about Russia

November 30, 2017 by Barton Christmas

Согласно всем известным законам авиации, пчела не может летать. Его крылья слишком малы, чтобы вытащить свое жирное маленькое тело с земли. Пчела, конечно же, летает, потому что пчелам все равно, что думают люди, невозможно. Желтый, черный. Желтый, черный. Желтый, черный. Желтый, черный. Ох, черный и желтый! Давайте немного встряхнем его. Барри! Завтрак готов! Ooming! Подожди … [Read more...] about Breaking: President Trump Releases Special Report about Russia

BREAKING: Bedbugs Not in Central Library

November 30, 2017 by Slant Staff

There was a previously published version of this article that was misunderstood by some. The Slant, Vanderbilt's premier humor and satire publication, has updated the humorous and satirical article.NASHVILLE, TN — Vanderbilt University’s Central Library is not currently infested with bedbugs. Students are not encouraged to use caution when not studying for the remainder of the … [Read more...] about BREAKING: Bedbugs Not in Central Library

Weird Kid Already Hanging Out in Bronson Common Room

November 28, 2017 by Slant Staff

E. Bronson Ingram College Construction Site -- Over the past few weeks, several reports have been coming in that sophomore Brent McCluskey has been seen already hanging out in the E. Bronson Ingram common room.McCluskey has taken residence in the common room since the pink walls went up and shows no sign of vacating any time soon. Surrounded by workers and the ungodly noise of … [Read more...] about Weird Kid Already Hanging Out in Bronson Common Room

First-Year Returns to High School as God among Men

November 27, 2017 by Foster Swartz

Upon his return to his former high school in Tampa, Florida, Vanderbilt first-year Stephen Williams was met with worship, awe, and reverence. Current high school seniors lined up before the now-deity for several miles, each prepared with a bouquet of roses and at least fifteen questions about how to get into Vanderbilt and what college is like.Williams sat in a throne in the … [Read more...] about First-Year Returns to High School as God among Men

10 Insane Real Classes That You Can Take at Vanderbilt

November 13, 2017 by Slant Staff

10 Insane Real Classes That You Can Take at VanderbiltThese are ten class entries that we have found in the 2017-2018 Course Handbook.Look for these next semester! RLST 3748. The Call of Cthulhu: An Exploration of the Elder GodsHave you ever heard of the secret religion of the Elder Gods, those terrifyingly powerful gods that H.P. Lovecraft dared to describe, such as Cthulhu … [Read more...] about 10 Insane Real Classes That You Can Take at Vanderbilt

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

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