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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for September 2017

HOD Major Shuns Consulting, Hailed as Hero

September 28, 2017 by Katie Means

NASHVILLE, TN - Vanderbilt University junior Derek Derekson never thought he would become a campus hero, but the consulting recruiting season has turned him into one nonetheless.Derekson, a Human and Organizational Development major, had seen posters all across campus for the Deloitte recruiting events and noted the many info sessions for consulting firms on Doreways. His … [Read more...] about HOD Major Shuns Consulting, Hailed as Hero

Top 10 Rejected Peanut Butter Types

September 27, 2017 by Slant Staff

10. Crusty9. Dusty8. Salt and Vinegar7. Sour Cream and Onion6. Peanut Butterface5. Cool Ranch4. Frozen3. George Washington Carver Butter2. Can't Believe It's Not Peanut Butter1. Jelly … [Read more...] about Top 10 Rejected Peanut Butter Types

Vanderbilt Football Game Recap: How to Take Candy from a Baby

September 25, 2017 by Slant Staff

For once, Vanderbilt had the chance to prove that the ‘Dores are not the punching bag of SEC football. Better yet, we had the chance to prove we were an elite team in the SEC; a force to be reckoned with.After pulling off a stunning upset over the 18th ranked Kansas State Wildcats, Vanderbilt students chanted, “We want ‘Bama!” You can’t blame the kids for being excited. Like … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Football Game Recap: How to Take Candy from a Baby

We Want Bama, But We Also Want Universal Health Care

September 22, 2017 by Slant Staff

After Vanderbilt’s tight victory over #18 Kansas State last week to start off the football season 3-0, the Commodores turned their attention to an Alabama program coached by Nick Saban that is currently ranked #1 in the nation. We interviewed Junior quarterback Kyle Shurmur, who has had a great start to the season with 8 touchdowns and no interceptions after the game.“We want … [Read more...] about We Want Bama, But We Also Want Universal Health Care

Vanderbilt Campus Dining Reviews Part 1

September 22, 2017 by Slant Staff

Along with the technological revolution of the 21st century came groundbreaking scientific breakthroughs that will change the world forever. Business meetings that used to require multiple days and flights can now be completed at the push of a button; sports fans can watch literally any game on-demand, and social media has to power to literally topple oppressive regimes. But … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt Campus Dining Reviews Part 1

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

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