Take this cute quiz and find out what kind of serial killer you’ll be in the future!
ISTJ: The Cereal Killer
You are an absolute monster, the worst of the worst. Your murder weapon is just a spoon, and you smother your victims in milk. First you came for Honey Bunches of Oats, and then Cheerios, and you crossed the line with Fruit Loops.
ISFJ: The Failure
You killed like two guys and got caught while trying to stab the third. He got away with only a wicked scar, and you’re not even technically a serial killer. Not to mention the fact that you’re rotting away in prison. Try harder next time.
INFJ: The Black Widow
You’ve been married five times because your husbands just keep getting heart attacks for some reason. You’re so devastated that you need to hide away mourning in your mansions. Luckily you have their fortunes to console you.
INTJ: The Avenger
You have been wronged, and you have suffered for far too long. That woman cut you off in traffic and her children stuck their tongues out at you. Now her head is shaped like a traffic cone and her kid’s tongues made a nice key chain.
ISTP: The Freudian Case
You had a tragic childhood, and obviously anyone who looks like your mother is just the same as her: blonde, overbearing, and definitely worthy of death.
ISFP: The Innocent
You stabbed them each 37 times in the chest? That kills people!
INFP: The Artist
You are a very tortured soul who has feelings that need to be released. You share your emotions through art, and nothing is more beautiful than a virgin hanging from the clocktower with her womb hanging out. It’s a metaphor.
INTP: The Cannibal
You truly appreciate the finer things in life, like sitting down to an elegant meal. It’s even more fulfilling when you yourself worked hard to make it, from the gathering of ingredients by kidnapping someone in the Walmart parking lot, to skinning the meat alive yourself, and to lightly seasoning the woman’s left thigh with salt and paprika.
ESTP: The Thrillseeker
You seek excitement in life! You love to spend your time exploring the great outdoors by bungee jumping, rock climbing, and hunting down men you brought to the Alaskan wilderness.
ESFP: The Showman
You are outgoing and love nothing more than being on stage! That’s why your murders have a dramatic flair that makes them truly original and memorable. You like to display the bodies in a public square where everyone can truly appreciate your work in awestruck horror.
ENFP: The Voices Told Me To
You are the Chosen One, the only One who can save us from Them. They are coming for you and everything you love. We don’t know who They are, but the Voices do. The Voices also know that They have a Plan that you must torture out of Them, though They always play innocent.
ENTP: The Wild Card
We really aren’t sure why you are killing people. Your victims have no connection whatsoever other than living in the same town as you. We only know you did it because of your signature of writing “Haha, suckers,” in blood at the scene.
ESTJ: The Vigilante
Our land has laws and order that must be kept. There are monsters roaming the streets, but the authorities aren’t acting fast enough; that’s where you come in. You act swiftly at night with your hood up to protect your identity and a inconspicuous machete in your hand. You’re a good murderer though–you only kill people who deserve it!
ESFJ: The People Person
You love to connect with people on a personal level, so you make sure to personally get to know your victims. You’ll take them out to dinner and listen to their stories before taking them out in an intimate manner such as strangling.
ENFJ: The Cult Leader
You are a natural-born and charismatic leader. People need guidance in this dark world, and who better than you is there to lead them? You are the savior after all, and your disciples need to build temples in your honor and cleanse the earth of heretics if they hope to save their souls.
ENTJ: The Robin Hood
You see the injustices in this world, and you have taken the initiative to do something about it. That’s why you only target the 1%, the greediest of the greedy. Once they’re out, all of their money automatically goes to charity, right?