Flowy tops, gladiator sandals, and lusciously curly beards might seem fitting for the hipster scene of an off-campus Starbucks, but heads turn when someone walks in sporting all three. The Slant was fortunate enough to sit down with Greek philosopher Aristotle this afternoon to discuss this divisive presidential election. As the founder of the field of political science, he … [Read more...] about An Interview With Aristotle on the 2016 Election
Archives for November 2016
Op-Ed: I’ve never done one of these prayer things before…
Dear God,First of all, sorry I denied Your existence all these years. I guess I just never thought it would come to this, but the election is today, so I thought I’d hit You up just to be safe. You’ve probably heard, but our country is on the verge of electing a greasy genital-grabbing goblin to the highest office.The following is a list of actions I promise to take in order to … [Read more...] about Op-Ed: I’ve never done one of these prayer things before…
Voters in Gerrymandered District Under Illusion That Their Votes Actually Matter In Local Elections
RALEIGH, North Carolina – Two residents of North Carolina’s 4th Congressional District, Bob Smith and Carol Wingfeather, have repeatedly maintained civil discourse over their varying political beliefs during their weekly Sunday tea times, agreeing that despite their differences they are proud to call themselves American as they strongly believe in the country’s democratic … [Read more...] about Voters in Gerrymandered District Under Illusion That Their Votes Actually Matter In Local Elections
7 Pictures of Hairless Land Mammals to Boost Your Self Esteem If You Think You’re Ugly
Do you think you’re ugly? Consider yourself lucky. You happened to be born as one of the few decently attractive hairless land mammals. Check out this ugly beast. It will make you feel better about yourself, I promise. That didn’t do it for you? Huh. I bet I have something even uglier. You like cats? Cats are usually pretty cute? What about this cat? Surely, this fucker … [Read more...] about 7 Pictures of Hairless Land Mammals to Boost Your Self Esteem If You Think You’re Ugly
Special Report: Man Thinks Both Hillary and Donald Trump Are Amazing
In a small suburb in Connecticut, Dom Asbriks has just finished watching a Trump rally with tears in his eyes. He proceeds to click on a Hillary rally, his cheeks flushed with excitement. Dom’s home is cluttered with signs from both sides littering every countertop. Upon entering, he winked at a 10 ft poster of what we at The Slant believe to be some sort of moldy orange. He … [Read more...] about Special Report: Man Thinks Both Hillary and Donald Trump Are Amazing