Missed Connections
NASHVILLE, TN –
Dear sexy feline of some sort I saw walking down Greek row Saturday night,
I couldn’t help but notice your ability to transform an ordinary black dress into a feisty costume with only the simple addition of cat ears and winged eyeliner. While I was unable to ascertain the specific species you were attempting to portray, I appreciated your effort and would be interested in a one-night stand…or maybe two. As we made out between our third and fourth shots of vodka, I kind of felt we had something special. I really felt we had something special when we locked eyes, and you broke down in tears about roommate troubles after our fifth shot. Looking back on the situation, it appears you may have thought that I was a member of your inner squad because you drunkenly referred to me as “Natalie.” Nevertheless, I hope we cross paths once again.
Yours truly,
the decently attractive guy who claimed to be a lifelong Cubs fan in the sports jersey attempting to pass as an “athlete” on Halloweekend
Dear cute guy I saw leaving the Rec center on Halloween,
I distinctly remember your sculpted biceps as you clutched your Smoothie King cup and backpack. As you passed me, heading to the entrance, I noticed the thin layer of glistening sweat that had coalesced on your skin. I think it’d be a great idea for our sweat drops to mix together some time…how’s this weekend looking? I love how you only seem to work out your upper body and leave thin muscles on your legs; I think it’s a good look for you. And the socks and slides on your feet? To die for. Also, I found it completely charming when you acted a little bit like an asshole while you used your equipment and talked to the staff at the Rec. Your disregard for common courtesy and air of arrogant self confidence are such a turn-on.
XOXO,
the random girl who goes to the gym to post it to her Snap story and who ‘accidently’ bumped into you on your way out
Dear cyclist I passed on my way to Commons while I was running late for a class in Cohen,
It usually takes a while for me to have any sort of physical contact with people I’m interested in; however, when you took the initiative to not walk your bicycle over the bridge, attempted to navigate your way through throngs of people, and crashed into me, sending my papers all across the floor, I was absolutely floored. The fact that you showed little regard for my predicament and sped around the corner towards Stevenson highlighted your strength of character and determination to persevere regardless of obstacles. I am definitely looking for that level of strength in a long term relationship. Also, your utterly revolutionary and original look including chacos, oversized camping backpack, and large nalgene bottle to emphasize your down your ‘outdoorsy’ personality told me that you’re definitely down to Earth even though your lack of a tan indicates that you hardly leave your room. I need your strength and love of the outdoors in my life. Call me if you’re available.
With love, Becky with the good hair
