8:05 p.m. Audience is currently too dazzled by Hillary Clinton's white, sinister pantsuit. 8:10 p.m. Clinton claims to have lived in Arkansas for "18 Wonderful Years" - according to our sources, those years were "so-so at best."8:11 p.m. Clinton denies a lack of support for the second amendment, saying "I have friends who are guns." 8:12 p.m. Clinton claims to support … [Read more...] about The Slant Presents: Live Blog of the Final Debate
Archives for October 2016
Man Completely Changes Mind About Election after Vice Presidential Debate
Tommy Wilson was completely blown away by the Vice Presidential debate. After watching Mike Pence and Tim Kaine duke it out on America’s second biggest stage, he knew his mind was made up. “At first I thought I was with her,” he said. “After a while, Pence convinced me that Trump didn’t say all the things I saw him say. That was a game changer.” Wilson … [Read more...] about Man Completely Changes Mind About Election after Vice Presidential Debate
10 Pickup Lines Guaranteed to Get You Tased or Maced
Because nothing says love like 50,000 volts and severe irritation to the eyes, lungs, and skin. 10. So, are you legal?9. My name is ___________. Remember that; you’ll be screaming it later. 8. I’m not feeling myself at the moment. Can I feel you?7. My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?6. Are you my appendix? I don’t know what you do or how you work but I feel like I … [Read more...] about 10 Pickup Lines Guaranteed to Get You Tased or Maced
Vanderbilt University Theatre Recruits Freshman for Faking Sobriety During Parents’ Weekend
NASHVILLE, TN – In preparation for VU Theatre’s modern adaptation of Macbeth, the VUT casting crew actively scouted freshmen who showed a simultaneous “failure to control their alcohol consumption” and ability to “feign composure” for the role of the Porter, the humorous doorkeeper. VUT’s casting director, who responded under the condition of anonymity, stated that “[VU … [Read more...] about Vanderbilt University Theatre Recruits Freshman for Faking Sobriety During Parents’ Weekend
Hysteria Erupts at Leah Rose after Several “Student” Sightings
Nashville, TN - The community at Leah Rose Residence for Senior Citizens is up in arms after several of the residents have reported the presence of strange men dressed as college students luring them away from their apartments. The frenzy started last week when residents of the Leah Rose Senior Citizen Home filed complaints that strange young men were loitering near the … [Read more...] about Hysteria Erupts at Leah Rose after Several “Student” Sightings