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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Statement of Our Mission to State the Mission Statement

September 30, 2016 by Slant Staff

Here at this prestigious college, university, and center of higher learning and education, we value the valuing of valuable values and strive to excel excellently in all excellent areas of excellence. We uphold the highest of standards that go far above the standards, for we stand for standing above standards.

Our mission is facilitated on the facilitation of faculty. This is a time of turmoil and strife among many diverse, different people with dissimilar, disparate, divergent, and sometimes even unalike customs, lifestyles, and beliefs that cohesively disseminate the dissemination of dissimilar ideas. We are bound together in a unit of unity that unites us as one unified community striving to communally communicate common goals. It is our differences that make us not indifferent in the quest for knowledge, wisdom, and insight into insightful ideas while inquiring inquiries. This drives our passion for searching for research to research in the search for scholarly scholarship in all of our schools of scholars.

In all of our endeavors, we strive to innovatively innovate new innovations and use this creativity to create creative creations as creators. It is also our goal to serve as servers in service of those who need to be served in our community and society. We seek to comprehend and resolve the societal factors that socially affect society. We must also remember the concepts of conceptualizing conceptual concepts within the context of the concept of conception.

As an educational institution of education, our educators must educate students and uphold our values of intellectually free freedom of intelligent intellectualism by intellectuals. Thus, we must always, as a diverse, unified and equal community of intelligent, creative citizens, strive to achieve excellence, excelling in all of our endeavors for society.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: mission, mission statement, prestige, statement, truth

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