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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

How to Stay Frat Over the Summer

July 17, 2016 by Katie Means

Are you a frat god? Are you spending this summer at home or in a new city for an internship? Are you far away from frat bros and tailgates for the next two months? Never fear! The Slant’s got you covered and we’ll teach you how to be a #Fratstar all summer long – just follow these tips!

 

1. If you’re home for the summer, make sure you and your high school crew are taking weekly trips to the beach (if you’re from Nebraska, you aren’t frat). Shotgunning is a required activity before going to the beach, so crack open those cans, apply minimal sunscreen, grab your formal cooler, and hit the sand. On the beach, dress code is as follows: Vineyard Vines swim trunks, formal tank top, frat hat, and Ray-Bans. If you’re not wearing your letters, you’re doing it wrong.

2. Survive living with your parents by disobeying their authority and making sure you demand a pair of American flag Chubbies to wear on the Fourth of July. If you don’t like Chubbies, you aren’t frat. Show off those pale white thighs with confidence and you’ll have srat hoes foaming at the mouth.

3. Play beer pong with your parents. If your parents don’t drink or you don’t have parents, then use someone else’s. ‘Gram it.

4. Do you have an internship? Dress classy, but always throw in the subtle frat references when chatting with coworkers. You should be wearing Sperrys on casual Fridays, and if your button down isn’t Vineyard Vines, Brooks Brothers, or Southern Tide, it’s not gonna be #lit.

5. Jump off things into a pool – trampolines, rooftops, and trash cans are all fair game. If you’re legit frat, you should fail at doing a backflip.

6. Throw a rager with your high school friends and do frat shit in your parent’s mansion. If you aren’t stupid drunk, keep drinking.

7. Steal some government property from the streets– whether it’s a construction “Men Working” sign, a traffic cone, or a street sign, it’s worth it. Bonus points if the street name has the word “Lost” in it.

8. Take many snapchat stories of your frattiness. The world must know. Tongue should be out and beer can must be in hand.

 

These are The Slant’s top tips on how to be a #Fratstar. Follow these simple guidelines and you’ll be ready to return to tailgating and hitting on freshman girls in no time!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: formals, frat, summer

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