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The Slant

Vanderbilt's Satirical Newspaper - Est. 1886

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Archives for June 9, 2016

The Filthiest Limerick

June 9, 2016 by Slant Staff

I went to the city of LimerickA place where Irish accents were quite thickNow I must break formAnd give up rhyming norms…  To tell you that Limerick, Ireland is a gray post-industrial dirt clump of a cityKind of like Hartford, ConnecticutBut with the occasional run-down castleNo, not quaint old museum-like onesThese castles look flat-out brokenAnd imagine these collapsing stone … [Read more...] about The Filthiest Limerick

Donald Trump’s Hair Becomes #2 Rated Cat Toy Sold on Amazon

June 9, 2016 by Slant Staff

As Amazon gears up to release their 2016 second quarter sales reports, many experts believe that reports will be bolstered by the surging sales of Donald Trump’s hair repurposed as a cat toy. Tammy, 57, Indiana suburbanite and owner of three cats comments, “The girls just love rolling around in Mr. Trump’s hair. I come home from my part-time job as a Walmart greeter, pour … [Read more...] about Donald Trump’s Hair Becomes #2 Rated Cat Toy Sold on Amazon

Silicon Valley Review Season 3 Episode 7

June 9, 2016 by Slant Staff

This week’s episode, “To Build a Better Beta,” is not the story of a triumphant return to campus of Greek organization. Richard feels like the beta of Pied Piper is not ready for release to the public, but after a solid dose of peer pressure, he acquiesces to the rest of the crew.While all of this is going on, Ehrlich and Bighead are facing bankruptcy. While Bighead is taking … [Read more...] about Silicon Valley Review Season 3 Episode 7

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A time honored Vanderbilt tradition By Estelle Sh A time honored Vanderbilt tradition

By Estelle Shaya
Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the commen Drop your best 2026 admissions stats in the comments
@quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three @quinnxcii We’ll back off in exchange for three (3) VIP Coachella tickets
Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Apparently next Oscars will feature Guillermo Del Toro and Timothee Chalamet wrestling in a kiddie pool full of Jello

By Sam Sliman
Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander Stay tuned for more Vandy logo slander
You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fi You can’t fix your bracket, but you can still fix your mental health.

By Jack Hollier
Very Important! Please read By Damian Ho Very Important! Please read

By Damian Ho
Wow! This is so inspiring! Wow! This is so inspiring!
It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much mo It’s not his fault that fossil fuels are much more profitable than universities

By Sam Sliman
EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCE EVERYTHING IS FINE. THERE IS NO REASON TO BE CONCERNED.
Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be enti Victim of financial aid collusion? You may be entitled to one free meal swipe

By Sam Sliman
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