“Texts from a Boehner” Released by Anonymous Trump Staffer

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to sources, an anonymous Donald Trump campaign staffer released a song called “Texts from a Boehner” on YouTube this past weekend detailing a one-sided series of possibly explicit messages from John Boehner to Trump. In a CNN report released in late April, Boehner admitted to having a “texting buddy” in Trump, but until the song was released, it remained unclear the extent of their relationship. The piece appears to draw its lyrics from Boehner’s own text messages, and thanks to transcription from our reporters, The Slant will be able to break down what some of the song’s cryptic lyrics might mean.

I want you to greet me, with your wallet wide open

This might refer to Boehner requesting bribes and funding from Trump himself; the wallet may also be a euphemism for something else.

There’s gonna be a party in Congress tomorrow, and my dick’s the only one invited.

This is largely thought to be Boehner’s declaration of dominance over Trump both in Washington’s establishment and the bedroom.

Wanna get filled later?

In this line, Boehner appears to ask Trump if he wants to be updated on events happening in Washington so that he can defeat now former opponent Ted Cruz.

My loan plus your face

Again, Boehner appears to leverage a degree of financial stability in order to help Trump win the nomination.

Overall, “Texts from a Boehner” suggests that Boehner and Trump have a relationship that surpasses the professional level, yet how far this supporters-with-benefits relationship goes, only the two politicians can know for sure.